Welcome to Westwind Ministries!
Predictable paths/steps for resolving all kinds of issues.
Step 1: Observation – You can’t fix a problem that you do not see; one of you has to notice the problem first see it, preserve it as problem.
Step 2: Confrontation – You can’t fix a problem you don’t talk about- Speak Honest and love.
Step 3: Ownership, Grief & Apology- If you the problem-OWN IT. IF you’re the wounded party forgive and express your hurt.
Step 4: Repent- Commit to change.
Step 5: Involvement in the process get involved in the change
Step 6: Re-Examination.
Things that Allow Intruders into your Marriage.
Not knowing your limits
Taking the marriage for granted.
Problems with setting boundaries with one another.
Don’t be irresponsible or hurtful.
Maintain a position of love without rescue, and truth without nagging.
Common Intruders that Weaken the Marital Bond
Affairs (most hurtful to the marriage)
There are almost no marriage problems in which one spouse contributes 100% and the other 0% of the problem. Both parties are responsible for 100% of their side of the problem. Ask yourself what are you contributing to the problem?
NOTICE: Put boundaries between your marriage and the outside world-
Basic Rules in Communication
1 Listen and seek to understand the other before you seek to be understood.
2 Actively empathize and use reflective listening to let the other person know you understand.
3 Don’t devalue and explain away what the other person is saying and feeling. Don’t defend just listen.
4 Clarify to make sure you understand. Ask Questions.
5 Use “I” statement that should you are taking responsibility for what you are feeling or wanting.
6 REMEMBER: There is always a death before a resurrection.
7 GO through it lovingly you’ll find more intimacy on the other side.
1 The marriage needs to be activity protected.
2 Things and People-
3 Both spouses must invest continually in their attachment to each other.
4 It is their shared responsibility to keep their love secure and safe.
Forsake or leave behind all others…
All good marriages need outside support. SEEK OUT THE RIGHT SOURCES.
When the marriage contains forms of hurt or conflict we busy ourselves with other activities and dull the difficulties and pain in the marital connection. BE Honest with yourself!-Bring the real issue to the light and deal with it.
Remember: The nature of emotional intimacy itself can make a marriage vulnerable to outside influences.
Thus intimacy causes two threats that leave the marriage open to intruders.
Within ourselves- One Spouse may pull away from what the intimacy reveals about themselves, hurts and failures.